I get myself ready for the dinner tonight, not wanting to wait last minute. Last night was crazy, but I’m hoping a whole night’s sleep will help with everything. Jebb finds me in the bathroom fixing my hair, and entangles himself between my legs. Purring, he makes me smile.
Picking him up, I cuddle him in my arms. His soft fur tickles my face, and he bumps his face against me. His way of telling me he loves me.
“I wish I could bring you sir, but I have to go solo on this one.” I tell him as we head to the living room.
Grabbing my crystal pipe, I pack it for us. Lighting up, I fill my lungs, and blow it into his face. He lays there still, letting the high sink in. I found out when he was young, that he loves the stuff as much as I do. Always showing up when he smells the aroma, and heading off when he has plenty.
Pulling up in the driveway, I am filled with a mixture of emotions. Dread and excitement. I haven’t seen my parents since Steph left. Taking in one last breath, I head for the front door.
Once inside, the tension is to hard to overlook. David rushes to me with a look of anxiety across his face.
“Are things okay?” I ask hoping the clues are pointing me in the wrong directions.
The tension on his face tells me the answer before his words do. “Mom had another one of her episodes today. Jerry tried to kill Dad today.”
Standing in shock for a moment, I remember one of the main reasons that I rushed to move out so fast. To not much surprise, this isn't the first-time things have gone violent. Only the first to almost cost someone their life. 'Should I still be here?'
“So is the dinner off?” I ask, confused at what my next move should be. I love my family, but mom’s episodes are not something anyone wants to be around.
“Dad has been trying to calm her down since this afternoon. He insists she will be fine after her nap.”
“You look like you could use some stress release, do you want to head outside for a second?” I ask him concerned, knowing he takes on way more then a kid his age should.
Drifting back and forth on the porch swing, I breath in the crisp air around me. “When does Karoline come over?” I ask David in a calm tone.
His face darkens, and I know the answer isn’t a positive one. “She isn’t coming, and I’m not sure if you’ll see her again anytime soon.”
“What do you mean?” I ask him confused by his response. Always wanting the best for everyone else, even at the cost of his own happiness. I know sometimes he leaps without the though or care of his own feelings.
“I told her not to come, and I don’t think I am going to hang around her much anymore. She doesn’t deserve the mess of our family.” He responses with his gaze locked on the ground.
I wrap my arm around him, pulling him close. “I guess Moraberrys aren’t meant to love.” I tell him remembering my own loss.
Sitting at the table, things are still a little tense. Mom serves us our plates, and sits quietly beside our father. Her blonde hair pulled up in a tight bun, and she looks up at us with her deep green eyes. Unable to know for sure which personality is in the driver’s seat, we just all keep the atmosphere calm to be safe.
Bowing our heads, we bless the food before us. Thankfully dinner goes by semi peacefully with careful conversations. Time passing by quickly, and I’m home before I know it.
In the dark, already missing my family. I start to resent the fact that I am growing older. Wishing for the days to come back when I was still a kid. Before heart breaks, loneliness, and even before mom’s ailment came to play into things.
I miss the times when David and I were little. The times when him, Karoline, and I would explore the unknown. Skinning my knee from climbing trees we were told not to, just to have mom to kiss it better. Going to the bay as a family, and playing in the sand. Baring treasure to find later on. Late night ghost stories under the covers, hiding our flashlights from mom and dad’s eyes.
Wanting so bad for the days when things came so easy, and I didn’t need and herb for happiness. When the chemicals in my brain didn’t force bad days upon me, just cause the didn’t want to listen.
Crying in the dark of my living room, I feel so alone. Knowing I need to do something, anything to prevent the downfall, but I can’t grasp enough care to do anything.
I find myself at odds with this advancement in technology. In part it is undoubtedly brilliant, however in the wrong hands, well, disastrous.
Sitting alone patiently a patient of my own accord I wait for my tech-plant, a first of its kind. Using pure thought alone I will be able to access t...